Change a catchword for some and a terror for others, either way, is a constant in my life. I have come to thrive on it. Which is good considering that the longest I have ever lived in one house is four years, and over the last seven years, I have not had my belongings in more than one place longer than eightish months, unless in storage. However, I have realized that as I grow in maturity and the depth of my relationships grow with those I live in community among, change grows increasingly difficult. Growing up as a child my family was my constant, no matter what city we lived in, the environment was the same, I was home schooled so there was not a new school to adjust too, except the one on Sunday. Location changed, but life was similar. I find now I making an increasing distinction between friends and acquaintances. I look for depth and conversation more and more. I find it imperative to keep up relationships even at great distances and increasing time between seeing those friends. Common pasts are as important as common futures. Though some friends may see the world entirely differently than I do our past together have formed bonds that are important for me to keep. Friendships are becoming greatly compartmentalized, as aspects of my life are completely foreign to many of those close to me. Sharing my life in completeness is virtually impossible. Being a person that loves to communicate and finds it a core of my personality, this is a paradox that I long to resolve, but is difficult. I am a person that loves to be understood, to be known, but living in a place that each community I am a part of only understands or could understand certain aspects proves a difficult facet of my changing life. Love God, Love people is my core agenda. Some interpret those far differently than I do, others can grasp only pieces of this and still others miss this completely because loving self is not present in those disciplines. I do find there are people in my life that understand to a great degree the way I think and live, but for others it is nearly unfathomable. There is a constant struggle to put my life in terms that others will understand and can in some way relate to. I frequently feel as though I am a measure of oil floating in a bowl of water. I am in it, but not quite able to mix. Many would just accept this and say it is the way it should be, due to the faith I have. This, I find unacceptable. Just because my life is one of changes and at times extreme living, I should never accept being separate from my fellow human beings. God loves them in an insane manner, so I must strive to as well, being separate from them, not mixing my life with theirs. Christ did that exactly, he became one of us, and he lived with all kinds of people, good and bad. Through that community living they were changed.
Moving through life, a life in constant change, it is a on going process to learn to communicate who I am as I change, and the people I am around change with time and location. There is no formula for that. Just as the way language is communicated, changes with every location, even if it is under the umbrella of a common tongue, so must what I communicate change as I change.
