Leaving the capitol city at the break of dawn, Joan tucked in the back of an all too common hatchback corolla, a steaming cup of coffee resting in my hands I breath a nervous sigh of knowing. Knowing, that I am about to enter the place that will be home, but is not yet. Knowing, that transition is hard, but the morning is beautiful. Knowing, that I may not enjoy all of it, but it will be worth it. It was a moment of intersection, leaving all that has been familiar behind and jumping into the unknown….again.
In astronomy “transition” can be used to describe the visible shadow of a moon crossing the surface of a planet. I often wonder if it is not that I am in transition, but that I am a transition. Shadows are real, you can touch them, but they are constantly moving and never put roots into a place, they may rest for a while, but then are gone. This could be my life.
Crossing the Hindu Kush from The capitol north to my new city I marvel at this country, I have taken this road once before, I was astonished at the beauty of this country that time as well. The Salong Pass was built by the Soviets as a gift to the people of this country, to link the capitol with the Soviet Union, to increase trade and ease of movement, or so they said, as soon as it was completed they used it to roll their battalions of tanks into the capitol. I am again reminded of how harsh history has been to these people, how in spite of it they have never been conquered, though nearly every empire in history has attempted too. These people were created wild, and will always be so. To try tame them would be more problematic than leaving them wild. Something truly wild must either be broken, or befriended. If broken it will do as told, but will lose a great piece of itself in the process. If befriended, the entire strength of this wild being will serve from a heart of love and honor. I feel so often that my life of change and transition is a process of one wild being befriending another. It is not safe, I am not safe, it will not be tamed, nor will I. There have been times in my life that I have felt nearly broken, felt I was about to lose a piece of the heart I was created with, but each time the one courting my love and honor leads me into new pastures, to places though unfamiliar are filled with nourishing fields. I once again find myself in new pastures, unsure of the best place to graze, unsure of where the water is flowing, unsure of where to find soothing shade. I do trust this other wild being that I follow, wondering where this shadow will find a home.
